


Permission

by raktajinos



Category: Stargate Atlantis, Stargate SG-1
Genre: Angst, Angsty Schmoop, F/M, M/M, UST, double standards
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-08-21
Updated: 2013-08-21
Packaged: 2017-12-24 04:39:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 960
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/935468
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/raktajinos/pseuds/raktajinos
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After spending a flirtateous afternoon with Cam Mitchell, Elizabeth and John have a not-really-direct conversation about their relationship.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Permission

**Author's Note:**

> I just had this little scene in my head for weeks now, so I finally decided to write it down (though I wrote it on my phone, so apologies for any errors). It turned out differently than I expected, but I think I'm mostly pleased with it.

She heard him come up behind her on the balcony, like he had done a hundred times before. She turned her head, smiling at him before letting her gaze fall once more on the horizon. It was her favourite place to be in all of Atlantis, and probably one of her favourite places in the universe. It was a sight so few people had the opportunity to see, and even fewer had the knowledge to comprehend its magnitude. But it was hers, her spot, she felt possessive over it and even if she could share it with people back home she wasn't sure she'd want to. 

But she could share it with him. 

"Beautiful night" John said, leaning next to her on the railing, his arm lightly touching hers. 

"Mhmm" she agreed, a slight shiver going over her body as it always did whenever John got near enough to touch her.

"Long day" she added.

He laughed lightly, she loved hearing him laugh, "you could say that again" 

"Long day" she repeated, a wry smile gracing her features. He grinned back and gave her a slight push with his arm. 

It had been a really long day, the SG1 team had arrived and there had been a swirl of activity around the entire city. With them they'd brought news from home, something the hundreds of personelle were eager to receive and an array of supplies. There was the additional excitement of having new people on the base that were _not_ life sucking aliens and people were eager to socialize. She was sure Colonel Carter got at least ten offers for a personal tour of the city. 

"That Mitchell…." John said after a few minutes silence. 

"Yes?" Elizabeth replied slowly, deliberately playing dumb. She had an idea of where he was going with this topic; the Colonel in question had not been particularly shy around her, turning his southern charm on full for her benefit. And Elizabeth enjoyed it, flirting with him right back. He was a handsome, smart and charming man and it had been far too long since she'd had the attention of such a man; especially one that was not under her command. They'd not made a scene about it, but she new John would have picked up on their flirtations. 

"He's quite taken with you" he hedged, no emotion playing on his face, his gaze steadily not looking at her. 

"Maybe", a small smile forming remembering how he'd whispered into her ear before dinner. Not to suggest he was lecherous in any way, he was a consummate gentleman, and it was largely her fault for spurring him on as she did. If she'd wanted it to go no further, he would have respected her wishes. But instead, she'd run a hand up his thigh during dinner, under the table. 

"You going to do something about it?" he asked.

She sighed and turned to look at him, "John.." 

"Elizabeth" he interupted, finally turning to look at her. 

What she saw on his face nearly broke her heart, the raw emotion on display. John was normally a very open man, but she'd learned early on that he kept his strongest feelings close to the chest; she'd only been privvy to them on a handful of occassions. Seeing the jealousy and anguish and the love on his face in this moment nearly had her undone. Her heart squeezed with guilt, with remorse, with longing. 

They'd never actually done anything, short of a few ill-advised kisses here and there over the years. They'd managed to simultaneously recognize and deny whatever it was that was between them. There was a list a mile long of reasons of why changing the nature of their relationship would be a bad thing...but that didn't stop them from feeling it. 

"I want you to be happy Elizabeth, but - "

"But what?", her turn to interrupt.

"Imaging you with anyone else....I don't know if I could handle it" he confessed. 

She was suddenly just annoyed with him; she'd maintained the weird not-together-but-monogamous part of their non-relationship for years, while he had numerous romantic daliances with women all the time. 

"So kinda like how I feel every time I see you throwing yourself at some woman, off world or here in the city. And don't even get me started on Rodney" she fired back.

"Rodney?"

"Oh don't play dumb John. Everyone knows". That was a lie, she didn't really know. She'd suspected and there were the rumours around the city; but she'd never been brave enough to ask him directly and find out the truth. 

"So I'm not supposed to go enjoy Colonel Mitchell, but I'm supposed to watch you and Rodney dance around each other everyday? Or watch you galavant with someone else under my command? Bit of a double standard John." 

He fell silent. And the anger she felt dissapated as quickly as it came. 

"It's never gone anywhere with Rodney." He finally said, breaking the silence. 

She sighed and leaned against him, her forehead falling to rest on his shoulder, hands reaching out to wrap around his. He entwined his fingers with hers, softly kissing them. 

"I'm sorry" 

"Me too John, me too" 

They stood there for a while, looking out over the ocean, trying to ignore the confusion that their relationship had become. 

"You going to see him tonight?" John inquired

"I haven't decided yet" she answered honestly, "but I don't need your permission"

He turned and placed his hands on her face, a gentle smile on his face as he leaned in and pressed a kiss to her lips. She pushed back, the kiss not one of passion, but more of a promise. 

"I know. But you have it anyways" he added.


End file.
